Sunday, July 30
I'm going to Die on
hold me now at 12:41 PM
Friday, July 28
I'm Alive!
This is just one of those days that you wished the day was over. I'm lucky to be surviving right now. I almost died practically from everything that went on today.
1) I SURVIVED THE SCIENCE LONG TEST!!! Ok here's the thing, the science long test was just effing hard!!!! I almost cried when I saw the long test. It was totally hard. I'll be happy if I get 30/50 already! That's how hard the test is. Especially with the time pressure of memorizing all the cations and anions. And FYI, he told us to memorize everything less than a week before the test. So it was very hard!
2) I SURVIVED ANOTHER ENGLISH SESSION!!! Waah. English is starting to get hard for me! I've been failing the past quizzes and now she wants us to read 30 pages of Greek Mythology in 3 days?! Gosh! Now I wanted to die!
3) I SURVIVED THE MATH LONG TEST!!! I was actually letting myself down from the math long test these past few days. The test was easy, I should say so myself. I expected to get a low grade but... I got a 45.5/50 wooh! I really prepared so hard for the test! I was nervous about the wrong spellings in my test. I though Mr. Sumpaico would deduct points from it. Luckily not.
4) I SURVIVED THE 5-MIN SOLO EXERCISE!!! I almost could not move after that. I couldn't even breathe! I know coach was a lot lighter than what he did with Ram and James. I couldn't breathe well when I was doing that. I coudn't imagine me doing what Ram and James went through. I salute them!
5) I SURVIVED A DAY NOT TALKING TO SOMEONE!!! After the whole thing, I was able to avoid not talking to him for a day. Though I actually texted him once because of a super emergency thing in volleyball practice and I also praised him a couple of times because of the way he played. There! Such a big clue who he is. He's from the team.
These are just SOME of the events that happened to me today. I am so tired right now and I can't move because of the 5 minute exercise. I'm still bleeding. :'( Hopefully tomorrow I could start studying again. Ok, I have to rest now because I'm going to make a new layout in my Multiply. Check it out once I finish it. Ok, Thanks! See you! Bye!
hold me now at 8:38 PM
Tuesday, July 25
Story of the Lost Lonely Boy
PARENTAL GUIDANCE: Anything you will read in this post is totally personal and private and whatever you will read must be between you and me. The next post is filled with heartache, pain, and emotions. I will be sharing my life as a lover in a relationship. All my heartaches and pain, it is all in hear. Last year I shared my life as an only child… Today, I will be sharing my life as a lover. Parental Guidance is adviced....
You don't know a lot about this Lost Lonely Boy. It has been 16 years when I was born. I live in a small townhouse with my parents and a few relatives. I am not the average only-son person, I am much MUCH different.
I was the only son and was born in a stormy weather. They decided to call me Ryan; the combination of my parents' names. I was a miracle baby in a sense that at the age of my parents when they had me. After me, it was impossible to have kids so I was raised alone. I lived a lonely life. I had my own room when I was in the 4th Grade and I stayed there ever since. I barely leave my room. I'm not the social type of person. I'm shy and I don't really talk to people. I was raised as a reserved, quiet person. I leave my room only when I had to take a bath or eat. I don't hang around with my familiy that much. My dad, he works in the Horse Racing business and he comes home late. My mom, from an army family, she works as a teacher in pre-school. I don't talk to people. I don't have that much friends. It was all the same until I reached Middle School.
Middle School was a different world, a world that would eat you alive. If you are not emotionally stable, then you would be breaking down each and everyday. That happened to me when I first stepped in Middle School. I was afraid. But then, I started to have some friends and allies. People started to get to know me, for a change. I started hanging around with different friends and I have seen the different diversities in school.
There's this song: First Day High and it talks about the different groups in school and asks you what group are you from. I began to realize, I don't know what group am I. I've been switching groups for 3 years. I've been with the geeks, the jocks, the who-knows-whats, the feelings, the popular, the outcasts, the invisible ones. Its seems like I've been through all of it. I never really been permanently in a group. I don't want to be labeled for that matter.
One year left to go in Grade School and I have drastically changed. From a quiet simple child to a grown-up teen, I have been hit with the love bug. I met a girl, she was from Miriam Grade School. We met at a simple party before and we became friends ever since. Days and months passed and I felt different about her and one night, I decided to let all my feelings out. I told her about how I felt for her and that I liked her but not just the ordinary like but the "LIKE" kind. Well, I really didn't tell it to her personally but through text. She then made a reply: "Ok. I promise, I will NOT IGNORE you." I was so glad and I felt like I didn't make the wrong choice. The next day, I texted her and she told me that she's leaving town and that it was so far away that she won't recieve any more messages and that I can't text her anymore. After a few days, I found out she didn't leave and when I texted her, she completely ignored me. I did the same thing over and over again but she now is ignoring me. Then I felt that telling her how I feel is not the right choice. I was really hurt and depressed for a long time and it felt like it was the end of the world.
Grade 7 has been such a mirror for my personality. Another thing happened to me during this year. I've actually been with the Mirian GS Varsity VOlleyball team. We got to play with each other for 2 games and we got to talk and be close with each other. I met a lot of players from the team and we got to be pretty close. After months of getting to know them, I found out about someone having to like me or something. Thanks to her friends who told me the news, I suddenly felt that I should not be talking with them anymore. It seemed like I wasn't ready to talk to them. They called me a lot and I rejected their calls. Then I realized how stupid I was to do that. I know what it feels to be rejected. I know what it is like to be snobbed around. I also felt the hurt of being rejected. And to be so dumb to do that to a nice person wasn't the right choice. I know it was a big mistake and I probably regret it now. It wasn't the right thing to do and I'm sorry to whoever that was. You know me, you know that it wasn't like me to be doing such crap. You guys were good to me, you were probably the only ones who don't do what the other Miriam girls do. You were understanding and thoughtful and I am sorry for what I have done and I plan to make it up someday.
High School was different from all the emotions and drama that I have suffered in Grade School. It seemed that I was left alone. There was no one to guide me. ANd let me start by telling my life as a freshman.
For the first time in my life, I have never felt in love this much. I know about what happened to me before and I don't want that to happen again but she was different. Her name was Paula Soriano. She's also in 1st Year and one of the sweetest girls I have ever met. It seems like we were inseparable. School was not that hard because I had her as one of my inspirations. She's different in a sense that she was so sweet. I thought that we would just be friends until one day, she called up and told me all the good things that happened in our friendship. Things that were unforgettable like the time where we were in a party and we talked together, just the two of us. We talked a lot. We shared our own life. And then I noticed how big our relationship was compared to other people and then. The moment came. And everything else was a fairy tale turned into a reality. It was different, falling in love again and not being rejected. It was a hard leap and of course, it was all worth it. It seems that this fairy tale has ended, but as to all stories, they have sequels.
One year passed when Paula and I had been "friends" and it seems that nothing can put us apart. Except for her family. You see, Paula's dad works at an international company and as bad as the timing is, they had to move again. I knew all about it months ago and I never thought that it would never happen. Guess I thought wrong. The day before she left, I gave her this note telling her how much she meant to me and how big of a person I have changed because of her. But as to all good things come to an end and our relationship had to end. It was hard for me to write that letter and it was a pain as I wrote every word on that note and how many tears dropped when the letter was given. I remember it clearly. It was a night I won't forget. It was raining, as to all of my days. Rain. Such a big part of my life. I got to move on. Because everytime it rains, it brings a brand new day and a rainbow that will lead a path for you.
It took me months to move on and forget her. She was different. And so was I. Before I entered Second Year, I met Matti (Maria Antoinette) Zamora Espinosa. She was a simple, nice, polite young girl. I am older by a year, she's was in 1st year, I was a sophomore. I was entrigued by her because she had funny initials, it spelled out as M.A.Z.E. and that was how everything started. I learned about her twists and turns and it seemed that her life was in a maze, just like mine. A maze that was filled with traps, obstacles and dead ends. But eventually, like every maze, there's a way out. We became the best of friends and I actually was afraid at first... committing myself again. It's hard to forget about me and Paula and how things ended and how I felt when it was over. So, I really hesitated at first until a friend named Star Jimenez told me, "Follow your heart, and your dreams will lead your way." This was so special for me and I won't forget that quote. It was an important time for that and in the end. We became.... together.
It's been 15 months and we had our rough times. There was rain on my birth, a sign of depression and hopelessness. There was M.A.Z.E. a sign of triumph in obstacles. We are opposites and together we became compatible for each other. For every rain drop that falls to the ground, today, in my special day, the day that I was born, I'll try to remember each person who has changed my life and made life better for me. I have had a lot of friends and they have helped me trough the worst of times and they shared my joy through the best of times. I wish, for my birthday, that I won't be the Lost Lonely Boy, but the One who surpassed all tribulations that came my way and finally, I would find the light in the maze; to find the success of all my hardships. I will see, in the end, the glory that I have been waiting for.... because it is really my fairy tale and there should be a happy ending!
You don't know a lot about this Lost Lonely Boy. It has been 16 years when I was born. I live in a small townhouse with my parents and a few relatives. I am not the average only-son person, I am much MUCH different.
I was the only son and was born in a stormy weather. They decided to call me Ryan; the combination of my parents' names. I was a miracle baby in a sense that at the age of my parents when they had me. After me, it was impossible to have kids so I was raised alone. I lived a lonely life. I had my own room when I was in the 4th Grade and I stayed there ever since. I barely leave my room. I'm not the social type of person. I'm shy and I don't really talk to people. I was raised as a reserved, quiet person. I leave my room only when I had to take a bath or eat. I don't hang around with my familiy that much. My dad, he works in the Horse Racing business and he comes home late. My mom, from an army family, she works as a teacher in pre-school. I don't talk to people. I don't have that much friends. It was all the same until I reached Middle School.
Middle School was a different world, a world that would eat you alive. If you are not emotionally stable, then you would be breaking down each and everyday. That happened to me when I first stepped in Middle School. I was afraid. But then, I started to have some friends and allies. People started to get to know me, for a change. I started hanging around with different friends and I have seen the different diversities in school.
There's this song: First Day High and it talks about the different groups in school and asks you what group are you from. I began to realize, I don't know what group am I. I've been switching groups for 3 years. I've been with the geeks, the jocks, the who-knows-whats, the feelings, the popular, the outcasts, the invisible ones. Its seems like I've been through all of it. I never really been permanently in a group. I don't want to be labeled for that matter.
One year left to go in Grade School and I have drastically changed. From a quiet simple child to a grown-up teen, I have been hit with the love bug. I met a girl, she was from Miriam Grade School. We met at a simple party before and we became friends ever since. Days and months passed and I felt different about her and one night, I decided to let all my feelings out. I told her about how I felt for her and that I liked her but not just the ordinary like but the "LIKE" kind. Well, I really didn't tell it to her personally but through text. She then made a reply: "Ok. I promise, I will NOT IGNORE you." I was so glad and I felt like I didn't make the wrong choice. The next day, I texted her and she told me that she's leaving town and that it was so far away that she won't recieve any more messages and that I can't text her anymore. After a few days, I found out she didn't leave and when I texted her, she completely ignored me. I did the same thing over and over again but she now is ignoring me. Then I felt that telling her how I feel is not the right choice. I was really hurt and depressed for a long time and it felt like it was the end of the world.
Grade 7 has been such a mirror for my personality. Another thing happened to me during this year. I've actually been with the Mirian GS Varsity VOlleyball team. We got to play with each other for 2 games and we got to talk and be close with each other. I met a lot of players from the team and we got to be pretty close. After months of getting to know them, I found out about someone having to like me or something. Thanks to her friends who told me the news, I suddenly felt that I should not be talking with them anymore. It seemed like I wasn't ready to talk to them. They called me a lot and I rejected their calls. Then I realized how stupid I was to do that. I know what it feels to be rejected. I know what it is like to be snobbed around. I also felt the hurt of being rejected. And to be so dumb to do that to a nice person wasn't the right choice. I know it was a big mistake and I probably regret it now. It wasn't the right thing to do and I'm sorry to whoever that was. You know me, you know that it wasn't like me to be doing such crap. You guys were good to me, you were probably the only ones who don't do what the other Miriam girls do. You were understanding and thoughtful and I am sorry for what I have done and I plan to make it up someday.
High School was different from all the emotions and drama that I have suffered in Grade School. It seemed that I was left alone. There was no one to guide me. ANd let me start by telling my life as a freshman.
For the first time in my life, I have never felt in love this much. I know about what happened to me before and I don't want that to happen again but she was different. Her name was Paula Soriano. She's also in 1st Year and one of the sweetest girls I have ever met. It seems like we were inseparable. School was not that hard because I had her as one of my inspirations. She's different in a sense that she was so sweet. I thought that we would just be friends until one day, she called up and told me all the good things that happened in our friendship. Things that were unforgettable like the time where we were in a party and we talked together, just the two of us. We talked a lot. We shared our own life. And then I noticed how big our relationship was compared to other people and then. The moment came. And everything else was a fairy tale turned into a reality. It was different, falling in love again and not being rejected. It was a hard leap and of course, it was all worth it. It seems that this fairy tale has ended, but as to all stories, they have sequels.
One year passed when Paula and I had been "friends" and it seems that nothing can put us apart. Except for her family. You see, Paula's dad works at an international company and as bad as the timing is, they had to move again. I knew all about it months ago and I never thought that it would never happen. Guess I thought wrong. The day before she left, I gave her this note telling her how much she meant to me and how big of a person I have changed because of her. But as to all good things come to an end and our relationship had to end. It was hard for me to write that letter and it was a pain as I wrote every word on that note and how many tears dropped when the letter was given. I remember it clearly. It was a night I won't forget. It was raining, as to all of my days. Rain. Such a big part of my life. I got to move on. Because everytime it rains, it brings a brand new day and a rainbow that will lead a path for you.
It took me months to move on and forget her. She was different. And so was I. Before I entered Second Year, I met Matti (Maria Antoinette) Zamora Espinosa. She was a simple, nice, polite young girl. I am older by a year, she's was in 1st year, I was a sophomore. I was entrigued by her because she had funny initials, it spelled out as M.A.Z.E. and that was how everything started. I learned about her twists and turns and it seemed that her life was in a maze, just like mine. A maze that was filled with traps, obstacles and dead ends. But eventually, like every maze, there's a way out. We became the best of friends and I actually was afraid at first... committing myself again. It's hard to forget about me and Paula and how things ended and how I felt when it was over. So, I really hesitated at first until a friend named Star Jimenez told me, "Follow your heart, and your dreams will lead your way." This was so special for me and I won't forget that quote. It was an important time for that and in the end. We became.... together.
It's been 15 months and we had our rough times. There was rain on my birth, a sign of depression and hopelessness. There was M.A.Z.E. a sign of triumph in obstacles. We are opposites and together we became compatible for each other. For every rain drop that falls to the ground, today, in my special day, the day that I was born, I'll try to remember each person who has changed my life and made life better for me. I have had a lot of friends and they have helped me trough the worst of times and they shared my joy through the best of times. I wish, for my birthday, that I won't be the Lost Lonely Boy, but the One who surpassed all tribulations that came my way and finally, I would find the light in the maze; to find the success of all my hardships. I will see, in the end, the glory that I have been waiting for.... because it is really my fairy tale and there should be a happy ending!
hold me now at 4:07 PM
To All My Birthday Greeters
To all those who greeted me this year: thank you very much! Now I know who my real friends are! Here's the whole list:
People who were really advanced:
Nico De Leon, Kim Muniz, Pat Luspo, Star Jimenez, Ian Ganhinhin, Ed Ortega, John Santos, Lucci Mauricio, Tommy Manzano, Matti Espinosa, Jin Solomon
People who nearly got the date right but was a day advanced:
Missy Muyot, Meynard Genato, JB Ruiz, Kate Diaresco, Rem Del Rosario, Joseph Aranas, Teri Guanio, Jin Solomon, Wowee Sanchez, Pao Ramirez, Regie Centeno, Ymam Ahmad, Ton2 Chew, Myke Gutierrez, Star Jimenez, Matti Espinosa
People who got the date right:
Chester Labez, Juno Gutierrez, Emman Dumlao, Chino Arellano, Ton-Ton Chew, Star Jimenez, Matti Espinosa, Julio Datu, Alex Manahan, JB Ruiz, Neil Flores, Lord Yamsuan, Geo Lapuz, Miggi Angangco, Neil Asuncion, Moe Peralta, JB Ruiz, Ian Gonzales, Tomie Rivera, Jamoi Casicas, Pat Luspo, Nico De Leon, Raymond Muyot, Javie Onglao, Rich Lopa, Timmy Palma, Banjo Cordero, Paula Soriano, Josh Journales, Sarah Sarmiento
Well, the list will hopefully add. I want to thank everyone who greeted me. This is not yet the official list. I will add some names once I remember them. By the way, I'm writing the names not because I wanted to boast about how many actually greeted me, it is just a way to say Thanks for those who took time to IM or text or tell me in person and greeted me on my birthday. Thanks, guys! This means a lot to me.
I'll post my birthday reflection later alright? See you!
hold me now at 10:15 AM
Monday, July 24
Pre-Birthday Drama
Let me just speak in Filipino for this part of the blog.
Heto nanaman ako. Tatanga-tanga! Dahil sa sobrang katangahan ko, may napaaway nanaman ako. Kailan ba naman kami nag-uusap for the first time, doon pa talaga nag-away. Birthday jitters perhaps? Ewan ko! Dahil sa kakulitan ko, may isang tao nanamang hindi pumapansin sa akin. Bakit ba ako ganito katanga. Nangyari na nga sa akin dati, naulit pa. Sinabi ko na sa sarili ko na hindi na mauulit iyon pero.. naulit eh. Nakaka-inis nga. Sobra. Wala na. Hindi na niya ako papansinin. Tatanga-tanga kasi ako eh! So, in return, hindi ko na rin siya kakausapin kasi ganoon eh. E ang problema ba naman, buong linggo ko siya nakikita. Hindi naman araw-araw pero paminsan-minsan. Hindi na nga kami ganoon ka-close, pinalayo pa kami. Grabe naman ito! Gusto ko pa naman siyang kaibiganin, maslalong makilala. Grabe. Ngayon, wala na. Galit na siya sa akin eh. Pagkatapos ng lahat ng ginawa niya sakin sa mga nakaraang araw. Grabe. Bakit ko pa kasi kailangang guluhin yung tao. Pwede naman sanang hayaan siyang mag-online ng buong araw, for all I care. Hay naku! Katangahan talaga! Kaya ayoko sa sarili ko eh. Haaaaaay!
OK. Now the english part. Its so sad that I am minutes away from my 16th Birthday and that I got mostly what I wanted but this thing happened. It seemed that going into my birthday, I had a lot of things that I wanted: suspension of classes, birthday treat, a cool birthday gift, lots of birthday greetings, and a not-so-new-found friend. Its seems like everything is perfect.. but I guess not. After what happened, there's no way that I would be happy on my 16th Birthday. I am minutes away from being 16 but I'm feeling so sad. It's supposed to be a HAPPY birthday... but I guess not. That ruined everything. Why am I so stupid?! Why can't I act more mature and change?! I hate myself for doing that. What happens now when I go back to school? It will be so hard not to notice him. He'll be there and I can't do anything. I can't speak to him in person because of what happened. I really don't know. Too bad! Aww. I'll try to move on. And hopefully I will. I'll just have to keep you posted.
hold me now at 11:28 PM
It's Showtime
Hallelujah! Praise God in his holy sanctuary; give praise in the mighty dome of heaven. Give praise for his mighty deeds, praise him for his great majesty. Give praise with blasts upon the horn, praise him harp and lyre. Give praise with tambourines and dance, praise him with flutes and strings. Give praise with crashing symbals, praise him with sounding symbals. Let everything that has breath give praise to the LORD! Hallelujah!
Psalm 150
As days pass by, the concert comes nearer and nearer. Wow my very first concert with the Hail Mary the Queen Childrens Choir. I'm so nervous. Problem is, schedules are clashing! HMTQCC practices are every Wednesday (4:30), Friday (5), Saturday (1), and Sunday (2). Those will definitely clash with varsity practice on Wednesday (4-6), Friday (2-5) and the games will be held on Saturday morning. Waaaaah. What am I supposed to do? I'm so confused. And on September 9-10, which is the concert day, I will have my immersion. So schedules will really clash on the day of the concert. I'm so nervous to tell Ate Thess cause she'll probably kick me off the concert which I do not like. I'm so excited for the concert and I don't intend in not being there.
Well, probably, I won't be even there in the concert anyways. I've been absent for the past practice dates because of varsity training. And now is definitely not the right time to be absent. There's also this audition process again. And, to tell you the truth, I'm the only one in the Boy's Choir from Ateneo who hasn't auditioned. Hehehehe. When I arrived, we just sang there then he told me that I was a tenor. Anyways, its going to be my first time to audition. And I'm so scared of what Mr. and Mrs. Vizconde-Roldan will tell me (it is required to add the Vizconde Hehehehehe). Well, wish me luck and hopefully, I will make it.
By the way, what is the connection with the quote? Psalm 150 is the english version of one of the most famous songs in the youth choir. You'll hear it hopefully in the concert.
Thanks to the additional birthday greeters:
Missy Muyot, Meynard, Genato, JB Ruiz, Kate Diaresco, Rem Del Rosario, Joseph Aranas, Teri Guanio, Jin Solomon, Wowee Sanchez, Pao Ramirez, Regie Centeno, Ymam Ahmad, Ton2 Chew, Myke Gutierrez, Star Jimenez (again), and You Know Who (again).
hold me now at 9:30 AM
Sunday, July 23
Signs of God
For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not from you; it is the gift of God; and it is not from works, so no one may boast.
Ephesians 2: 8-9
A while ago, I was chatting with a friend and we discussed about pressures in school, choir and volleyball and how each is affecting the other thing. We've talked about things that I have kept for some time already like about the coach. I know it was a thing in the past and I don't want to relive it. Its over and done and HOPEFULLY, I have moved on. So anyways, he gave me this passage in the bible to reflect on (it's the one above). And it actually made a point. I'm lacking prayer and faith in God to help me through all this. All I thought about was me working. Everything, I had to do myself. All the work and no faith really gets you nowhere. I depend on what I do instead of what WE can do as a team. I forgot that God is there to give a hand. I've cried about giving up and it really stinks to be doing that. I really needed something at a time like that. And I really want to thank you for it!
Ok, moving on. My birthday is two days from now and a lot of people already greeted me this early. Here are some short birthday greetings:
"BUZZ! Happy birthday!!!" Nico De Leon
"*slap* advance birthday!" Kim Muniz
"Happy birthday!" Pat Luspo
"Belat! Tanda!!!" Star Jimenez
"Advance...Halloween, akala mo ahh!" Ian Ganhinhin
"advanced happy bday" Ed Ortega
"Batugang bata! Matanda ka na! :P" John Santos
"happy belated!" Lucci Mauricio
"birthday mo na nga pala noh?! masmatanda ka sakin pero masmatangkad prin ako sayo!" Tommy "Tangkad" Manzano
"Happy Birthday! Love You! Muah!" You Know Who!!!
"Dahil sayo walang pasok kaya HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" secret also :P
In connection with my birthday... It has been a ritual that everytime my birthday comes, a storm arrives and eventually classes get suspended. Every year, for 15 years, it has been the same. I never had a birthday wherein it didn't rain. I remember last year that classes were suspended because of the SONA but it also rained. We were trapped in traffic for hours going back home after being annnounced that there is no classes.
This is is another thing and I'm not surprised. But a thing that's different is that the big coincidence with Prayer and My Birthday. Because on Tuesday, July 25, I'll turn 16. On that day, I will be the prayer leader. It also marks the 30th day of classes or the 1st Monthsary of 3K and of course, the 15th month anniversary of me and you-know-who. Wow! 15 months that's 30(30th day of school) divided by two. So I don't know if its a big sign or something. It is my time to change my luck, I hope so. I've been so depressed lately about school and all my extra curricular activies. Hopefully, when I turn 16, everything will change. Now I've learned from my mistakes, all I have to do now is to change those mistakes and live a better life.
Thanks to all those who greeted me and for those who haven't, tsk tsk tsk. Hehehehehe. Thanks to my friend who gave me the passage in the bibile. For a year older than me, it seems that you know A WHOLE LOT of things compared to me. See You Guys! Bye!!!
hold me now at 11:07 PM
Thursday, July 20
Homework
AP: Pagsusulit bukas sa tinalakay. Basahin p. 36-45 (Panahong Heleniko)
Science: Memorize Cations and Anions by Wednesday
Math: Long Test 2 tomorrow.
Computer: Slide Show presentation due tomorrow (short bond paper)
hold me now at 6:07 PM
Wednesday, July 19
Wanting to Change
I started the school year wrong. I did everything wrong. I started out by being 3x more lazy that I ever was. I do homeworks in school (which I try to avoid last year). I don't study when I arrive from school. I sleep everytime I'm home. I have terrible grades even though people tell me that I'm lucky enough. I joined the varsity team which took all my time for studying and resting. I don't have time to study because of the trainings. I have a hard time studying when I arrive from school. I'm just so down with myself because of this feeling of discontent with myself. I tried so hard to do well for my Mid Term grades, but I feel so stupid!
AP: C+
Science: C
Computer: C+
Religion: C+
Math: B+
English: C+
Filipino: D
I've never seen so much C's/C+'s in my life! And to top it off with a D in Filipino?! I've never felt this low in my mid-terms ever and even topped of last year when I got an F2 in Music. At least last year I had more B's and B+'s. I feel even pressured because 3rd year grades are the thing college people look at for your entrance thingy. I've pushed myself over the top and still nothing good comes out of it. I want everything in school to change.
No more resting. No more time for miscellaneous stuff. When arriving home, study, study, study! I must double my efforts in volleyball but even triple my school work. I want to see more perfect marks in my quizzes. I got to be serious in this thing in order to go to a good college. I want to make it. I want to show my parents that I can do well in my studies as well as being an athlete. It's so hard to adjust very well. I've been like this before. Every year, during 1st terms, I have low marks. But now, I will change! I want to do better! I can't stand to see another failing quiz. This has got to end! I have to show myself that it is possible to do a lot as well as showing quality work. No more people teasing that I got a LOW score in the Filipino Long Test. I really have what it takes to make it big. The problem is... I just haven't got enough heart.
AP: C+
Science: C
Computer: C+
Religion: C+
Math: B+
English: C+
Filipino: D
I've never seen so much C's/C+'s in my life! And to top it off with a D in Filipino?! I've never felt this low in my mid-terms ever and even topped of last year when I got an F2 in Music. At least last year I had more B's and B+'s. I feel even pressured because 3rd year grades are the thing college people look at for your entrance thingy. I've pushed myself over the top and still nothing good comes out of it. I want everything in school to change.
No more resting. No more time for miscellaneous stuff. When arriving home, study, study, study! I must double my efforts in volleyball but even triple my school work. I want to see more perfect marks in my quizzes. I got to be serious in this thing in order to go to a good college. I want to make it. I want to show my parents that I can do well in my studies as well as being an athlete. It's so hard to adjust very well. I've been like this before. Every year, during 1st terms, I have low marks. But now, I will change! I want to do better! I can't stand to see another failing quiz. This has got to end! I have to show myself that it is possible to do a lot as well as showing quality work. No more people teasing that I got a LOW score in the Filipino Long Test. I really have what it takes to make it big. The problem is... I just haven't got enough heart.
hold me now at 6:56 PM
Sunday, July 16
To That Special Someone Last Summer
There are 82 letters in here and they're all addressed to you. I wrote them all this summer; one a day but I never send them because I was afraid. I was afraid of getting my heart broken again, like before. 'Cause it hurt me so bad. I was afraid to be vulernable. And then I was afraid of you and the was you make me feel. And I know that it dosen't matter now after what I did but I just thought that you should know that this is how I spend my summer... wanting you. I was just too scared to admit it.
hold me now at 11:52 AM
Thursday, July 13
6,470,818,671
At this moment, there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are just evil men that war with good. And some are good struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls. And sometimes, all you need is ONE.
hold me now at 6:27 PM
Wednesday, July 12
Homework
Sorry for the late post.
Math: Summative Quiz tomorrow. Name tag due as well.
Computer: For those who didn't submit the past homework, tomorrow is the deadline people!
AP: The AP-Chacha thing is due tomorrow also.
Filipino: Read Chapter 20-22 (33 pages). Quiz tomorrow!
That's basically all the required things tomorrow! Bye!
hold me now at 6:26 PM
Tuesday, July 11
Homework
Science: Answer guide questions.
Religion: Bring magazine.
English: Memorize las stanza of Invictus (p.271). Read questions 5-7 pp. 108-109. Do the even numbers of the excercise on pp. 112-113 in the notebook.
Math: Name tag draft due tom (for those not approved). Summative Quiz tom. Do p. 123 #s 1-9 and 27-29.
Hopefully no one will cram anymore. :D
Religion: Bring magazine.
English: Memorize las stanza of Invictus (p.271). Read questions 5-7 pp. 108-109. Do the even numbers of the excercise on pp. 112-113 in the notebook.
Math: Name tag draft due tom (for those not approved). Summative Quiz tom. Do p. 123 #s 1-9 and 27-29.
Hopefully no one will cram anymore. :D
hold me now at 5:03 PM
Friday, July 7
Missing Matti
Since the start of classes, I became pretty caught up with my studies and stuff. I had no time to play, except for varsity volleyball practices. There's no time to rest, no time to use the computer, no nothing! Ever since 3rd Year began, I've been busy. I joined the varsity team and had 4 hours removed for my other things to do like rest and study more. And most importantly, I really have a hard time in my relationship with Matti. I really miss her a lot. We barely speak because once I arrive from school, I go straight to studying and doing all that shit for school. When Matti calls in our phone, I have no choice but to put the phone down. Even though its a weekend and I'm expected to rest, I have choir practices so I can't really rest. Too bad for me? Yes and no. Yes in a sense that I don't have more time to spend with Matti. No because this is a time to relax from the stress in school.
I miss Matti a lot. I don't get to speak with her. The only time we enter a conversation is when she logs in in Y!M and we have a simple "hi..hello" chat and that's it. I really miss her. If only.
Moving on, last night, she sent me an email. She told me that Star is one of the highest students in her batch. Good for her! I just wish you the best.
I hope that everything will turn out ok. I guess I have to focus less on volleyball and more on something actually worth doing. Ok. I have a lot to do. I still have to study a new song for our choir. See you guys soon! Bye!
hold me now at 10:08 PM
Tuesday, July 4
My Top 10 Crushes
Haay. I miss posting on my blog! This is probably one of the shortest posts that I will make. Hmm. Let me start. This is my TOP 10 CRUSHES! If you guys know who they are post a message on my tagboard (Blogger) or post a reply (Multiply). These are true people and the initials here are the nickname then the family name. If YOU have these kinds of initials, chances are that you are one of them. But, just to be on the safe side, just let me know before spreading any rumour. These are names of real people, not celebrities and stuff.
1) j.s. - my ultimate crush since the 7th grade. source: banjo cordero
2) p.s. - i dunno. it started as a rumor and i dunno. source: frank golla
3) j.m. - hay. this person i really love. even though we are not close. source: none
4) l.s. - rumors can actually come true. this started also as a rumor and sparks flew! people think i have a crush on this person but they don't know that its actually true! source: if given, not a secret anymore. :D
5) f.s. - i just met this person. i wish that person would notice me. source: frank golla
6) m.e. - you guys actually know who she is. starts with M and ends with ATTI. hehehe. source: all people in K08
7) k.m. - just a few people know about this. i had a crush on this person but when i knew that that person is a LOT older than i am, i moved on. but still. source: must be kept secret or else it will be too obvious.
8) m.a. - the person i never got to talk to for a long time. last time i talked to that person was during grade 7 and i never saw that person ever since. i miss that person a lot. oh well. source: star jimenez
9) m.j. - i never got to say 2 words to this person. oh well, move on. source: 1C people especially carlo rosales
10) r.m. - wow. the person who is probably one of the closest i have. really. i never expected it would happen. but it did. so oh well. source: must also be kept secret!
So here's my top 10 crushes. If you guys have any gueses, just reply or tag alright. See you guys. I have to read El Filibusterismo. Bye!!!
1) j.s. - my ultimate crush since the 7th grade. source: banjo cordero
2) p.s. - i dunno. it started as a rumor and i dunno. source: frank golla
3) j.m. - hay. this person i really love. even though we are not close. source: none
4) l.s. - rumors can actually come true. this started also as a rumor and sparks flew! people think i have a crush on this person but they don't know that its actually true! source: if given, not a secret anymore. :D
5) f.s. - i just met this person. i wish that person would notice me. source: frank golla
6) m.e. - you guys actually know who she is. starts with M and ends with ATTI. hehehe. source: all people in K08
7) k.m. - just a few people know about this. i had a crush on this person but when i knew that that person is a LOT older than i am, i moved on. but still. source: must be kept secret or else it will be too obvious.
8) m.a. - the person i never got to talk to for a long time. last time i talked to that person was during grade 7 and i never saw that person ever since. i miss that person a lot. oh well. source: star jimenez
9) m.j. - i never got to say 2 words to this person. oh well, move on. source: 1C people especially carlo rosales
10) r.m. - wow. the person who is probably one of the closest i have. really. i never expected it would happen. but it did. so oh well. source: must also be kept secret!
So here's my top 10 crushes. If you guys have any gueses, just reply or tag alright. See you guys. I have to read El Filibusterismo. Bye!!!
hold me now at 9:38 PM
