Sunday, June 17

I Wish I Never Met You.

This is a blog post in my blogger: http://ry10.blogspot.com

I really wish I never met you. I tried so hard go bring back our old friendship but everything is falling back to pieces. I tried to strike up a conversation with you but it seems that you are always occupied with something or someone. Why am I doing this to myself? I have sacrificed for the longest time to save whatever is left for our friendship and nothing. There's no new developments. The only thing is that we are going farther and farther apart everytime we talk to each other.

Before, we would usually have a fun time talking about nonsense. We would have to text each other after talking online. We would go to bed at around 2AM. By that time one of us has already fallen asleep. And when we wake up for school, we would usually text each other and tease some of my teachers about the way they act, teach, and those kinds of stuff.

Now, its so different. Rarely would you see this person online. Maybe hiding from me? Stealth mode perhaps?

When I talk to you, i have to ask a question just to keep the conversation going. It seems like there's this wall up that has been keeping you from sharing things about me. Its like I'm not a friend that you used to talk to before. Its like I'm not someone who shared to you my entire life. You tried to help me out of my problems and now, you have no reaction when I share them. You would give me advice about this person and now, its like, nothing.

And then I ask myself.. WHY? Why would I let myself be hurt from you and just accept the pain you give to me. Why am I so desperate to be your friend and wanted to bring back our friendship. Why do I always want you to help me and be the model that I needed? Why would I go trough pain and suffering just for us to be friends? Why would I rather let go of my past relationship rather than leaving you who was once in my life my best friend? Why would I continue to wear this mask and think that you still would want to be my friend? Why would I avoid myself from the reality that you broke your promise? Why? Why? Why?

The answer is simple... it is because you were one of the few persons who made me feel complete. You were one of the few persons who made me TRULY happy. You were a missing piece in my puzzle. And now that piece is missing again, I WILL NEVER BE COMPLETE. I wish that I never met you, to begin with. At least I would continue thinking that it is not possible to complete the puzzle and not think that there is a chance to find the missing piece of the puzzle....