Wednesday, May 24

Don't

Don't say I love you. Don't say you love me. Don't say I trust you. My heart can't take it. Don't say you want me. Don't say you miss me. Don't hurt me. Don't say you love me.

This song is by Kelly Clarkson. This will hopefully be in a track in her new album. And this songs speaks a lot.

Is there really more between us or are we meant to be stuck in this insane situation that we have been in for the past weeks. Am I ready to continue this thing with you? For the past few weeks, we have been away and every night I cry about you. I know you do too. Do we continue to go on like this? Or is it time to end it all? Its hard to continue. But I'm afraid about being alone again. You were just one of the persons that saw me behind all these things that are visible on the outside. Our relationship has been on a roller coaster ride and just recently I remember we were going smoothly. Now, its all different. We had lesser phone calls, we chat to a minimum, we pretty much haven't seen each other for a long time having the fact that we are actually "closer" than people think. I really wish everything will turn out fine once my mind has been cleared up a bit.

For the past few days, some people probably recognized that I was in a bad mood or I really did not have time to do work. I am pretty much depressed. And it is a rare event that I show my real emotions. It's a really big deal because I have been thinking more than I should I have been. I started looking at some songs and I found this song by Kelly Clarkson, and somehow, I can relate to this song. There are really times that I wished I never had to go through this again.

I just remembered what happened before. I had been in this situation. And the outcome? Let's just say that the emotions were flowing. I don't want that to happen again. I was in this mess before and I did the wrong thing. And now, I'm back to the same problem and I must do something differently so as not to end up with the same result. I want us to be happy and how can I do that? Everything just seems like a blur to me. Hopefully, I'll find out the remedy when I wake up.