Monday, July 24
Pre-Birthday Drama
Let me just speak in Filipino for this part of the blog.
Heto nanaman ako. Tatanga-tanga! Dahil sa sobrang katangahan ko, may napaaway nanaman ako. Kailan ba naman kami nag-uusap for the first time, doon pa talaga nag-away. Birthday jitters perhaps? Ewan ko! Dahil sa kakulitan ko, may isang tao nanamang hindi pumapansin sa akin. Bakit ba ako ganito katanga. Nangyari na nga sa akin dati, naulit pa. Sinabi ko na sa sarili ko na hindi na mauulit iyon pero.. naulit eh. Nakaka-inis nga. Sobra. Wala na. Hindi na niya ako papansinin. Tatanga-tanga kasi ako eh! So, in return, hindi ko na rin siya kakausapin kasi ganoon eh. E ang problema ba naman, buong linggo ko siya nakikita. Hindi naman araw-araw pero paminsan-minsan. Hindi na nga kami ganoon ka-close, pinalayo pa kami. Grabe naman ito! Gusto ko pa naman siyang kaibiganin, maslalong makilala. Grabe. Ngayon, wala na. Galit na siya sa akin eh. Pagkatapos ng lahat ng ginawa niya sakin sa mga nakaraang araw. Grabe. Bakit ko pa kasi kailangang guluhin yung tao. Pwede naman sanang hayaan siyang mag-online ng buong araw, for all I care. Hay naku! Katangahan talaga! Kaya ayoko sa sarili ko eh. Haaaaaay!
OK. Now the english part. Its so sad that I am minutes away from my 16th Birthday and that I got mostly what I wanted but this thing happened. It seemed that going into my birthday, I had a lot of things that I wanted: suspension of classes, birthday treat, a cool birthday gift, lots of birthday greetings, and a not-so-new-found friend. Its seems like everything is perfect.. but I guess not. After what happened, there's no way that I would be happy on my 16th Birthday. I am minutes away from being 16 but I'm feeling so sad. It's supposed to be a HAPPY birthday... but I guess not. That ruined everything. Why am I so stupid?! Why can't I act more mature and change?! I hate myself for doing that. What happens now when I go back to school? It will be so hard not to notice him. He'll be there and I can't do anything. I can't speak to him in person because of what happened. I really don't know. Too bad! Aww. I'll try to move on. And hopefully I will. I'll just have to keep you posted.