Wednesday, July 19

Wanting to Change

I started the school year wrong. I did everything wrong. I started out by being 3x more lazy that I ever was. I do homeworks in school (which I try to avoid last year). I don't study when I arrive from school. I sleep everytime I'm home. I have terrible grades even though people tell me that I'm lucky enough. I joined the varsity team which took all my time for studying and resting. I don't have time to study because of the trainings. I have a hard time studying when I arrive from school. I'm just so down with myself because of this feeling of discontent with myself. I tried so hard to do well for my Mid Term grades, but I feel so stupid!

AP: C+
Science: C
Computer: C+
Religion: C+
Math: B+
English: C+
Filipino: D

I've never seen so much C's/C+'s in my life! And to top it off with a D in Filipino?! I've never felt this low in my mid-terms ever and even topped of last year when I got an F2 in Music. At least last year I had more B's and B+'s. I feel even pressured because 3rd year grades are the thing college people look at for your entrance thingy. I've pushed myself over the top and still nothing good comes out of it. I want everything in school to change.

No more resting. No more time for miscellaneous stuff. When arriving home, study, study, study! I must double my efforts in volleyball but even triple my school work. I want to see more perfect marks in my quizzes. I got to be serious in this thing in order to go to a good college. I want to make it. I want to show my parents that I can do well in my studies as well as being an athlete. It's so hard to adjust very well. I've been like this before. Every year, during 1st terms, I have low marks. But now, I will change! I want to do better! I can't stand to see another failing quiz. This has got to end! I have to show myself that it is possible to do a lot as well as showing quality work. No more people teasing that I got a LOW score in the Filipino Long Test. I really have what it takes to make it big. The problem is... I just haven't got enough heart.

hold me now at 6:56 PM

- the site -

my wishes

    get 3rd honors
    join ahs varsity volleyball team
    have a concert [alone or with choirmates]
    N70 phone
    ipod video
    driver's licence
    car
    meet patti taganas
    30/60GB hard drive
    flat screen LCD
    flat screen tv
    apple iBook
    go to thailand
    go to hongkong
    go to L.A.
    go to disneyworld
    go to disneyland
    havaiannas
    watch kelly clarkson concert

connections

remembered

notices