Sunday, September 17

Sunday Again?!

Why is it that every Sunday, I tell the person that I have a crush on my feelings? I remember that I told my first crush about it during the Sunday; mid-summer time. I also told a friend of mine that I have feelings also on a Sunday. Then, a while ago, I finally told B that I liked her. Why does it always happen on a Sunday?! And again, I feel that it has happened all over again. I can feel that it is starting already. The avioding thing... its happening all over again. And I feel so down with myself. Feeling some guilt? A little bit. Now, I think I can't text her anymore or even speak to her. I feel so shy now that I'll talk to her. The wall is up and I can sense it already. I thought that I have hopes for her, I guess not. Well, she's a nice person and even though I don't know a lot about her, I feel like we can get to know each other more. But ever since that happened, its all over. She's already probably so fed up with me already. Now the avoiding begins. It may be hard, but that's the thing to do already. Its going to be hard for me to avoid her because she's a nice girl and such a friend.

I like her, she likes another. I knew about it. Even before I liked her, I know that the guy she likes and herself already had something going on. My intention was not to interrupt their friendship but its just the feeling inside. I had to let it out and clear my sleepless nights. Evertime, I just think about her and ask myself what will happen if I told her this and that? I guess that "what-if" question is over. And the answer is? I'll get heart broken (again) and never speak to her.

I don't know if she still wants me to be her friend. I dunno. I probably won't text her anymore but I hope she does because I would definitely reply if she ever needs someone to talk to. Anyways, she likes my friend. And he likes her (I think..). So, I guess they are meant to be and I would get away from it all. Its a good thing considering the fact that I'm going to leave soon. I may study college out of the country, or leave. I don't know. I just wish that things will turn out fine once we see each other.

My advice to myself: never ever tell someone your feelings on a Sunday. It will really bite you in the back once you do that again. See you guys. I have to study. Bye!